Yep, you read that right.

I honestly don’t recall when it happened – at least a year ago, maybe a year and a half. But I had a client threaten me and ultimately report me to the BBB when I didn’t back down.

It was a hard time for me. 

Not even so much about the BBB. I knew that the client simply hadn’t done the work which is why she didn’t get the results she was hoping for.

But it was hard because of the things that were said to me and about me.

It only took a hot second for my lawyer to rebuttal the BBB reporting because we are good at record-keeping … but the sting of the words lasted a lot longer. 

In fact, I quit selling my program for almost a month while my ego, self-confidence, and heart healed.

My lawyer told me, “get used to it. This is a sign you’ve made it. Time to grow some thick skin”

Since then, I’ve been called almost every name under the sun. 

Every time a new one comes up, it hurts – not gonna lie. 

But I’m much stronger now. And I know now that with success … comes judgment. 

Here’s a truth bomb … if you want to do big things and accomplish big things, not everyone is going to like you. 

And the more you stand for what you say and the more bold or unique your voice becomes … more people are going to dislike (or even hate) you. 

Ironically, making your voice more bold and unique is often what is required to hit those big goals. Catch 22, right?

I remember back when I expected more people to love me as I grew. They did. And I remember how surprised I was when I found out that more people also disliked me as I grew. 

I sure wasn’t expecting both sides (although it makes total sense). 

I’ve wrapped my head around the fact that as you grow and do big things, you bring out insecurities in others … and that insecurity sometimes results in projections towards you (even though it really has nothing to do with you). 

There’s a quote I read or heard somewhere that says “The cost of love is hate”

And that really rings true for what we do.

The more visible and bold we are, the more people will come up who will love us.

And …

The more visible and bold we are, the more people will come up who hate us. 

Not all clients will get results, and only some will take responsibility for their lack of success. Others will project it. 

This particular client who reported me to the BBB used to be one of my biggest fans. She even gave me a great testimonial (I no longer use it). 

I used to believe that the more I tried to help and the more I just did my best, the more people would like me and be nice to me.

That is not true. And I no longer expect it to be true. It took me a long time to understand that. 

Now … let me be really, really honest.

I also learned A LOT from this experience. It took me a bit of time to lick my wounds and my instinct was to be defensive … but my program and the way we deliver to our clients ultimately is better because of this experience.

There was a lot to learn. We could and now do better. 

And while much of the criticism we all receive warrants ZERO self-evaluation… some of it certainly does. 

There are lessons in everything. We just have to learn the right one. Sometimes it is an opportunity for us to improve. Sometimes it is an opportunity for us to just get stronger in our mission and inner fortitude. 

The reason I wrote this email today is because I recently talked to someone who nearly shut her business down because of a couple of angry clients. 

And one of our clients recently turned off all of her ads because she got her first “hater.”

And I know that some of you reading this won’t even start … or resist being bold or unique … just because you fear what others may think. 

What I want to send out to you today … is to start expecting both sides.

“The cost of love is hate.”

And the amount of lives you can change shouldn’t be affected by those who are not ready, not able or not willing to change (or who just flat out aren’t your people).

Don’t let the “haters” steal the amount of love that is available to you. 

In ETS, we celebrate when our clients get their first naysayers.

Because it means they are doing something right.

So … who can you go offend today? 🤣

I’m only partially joking.

To loving our haters,

Melissa